


Forgiveness

by CheerfullyCynical



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: And the Master doesn't know it's the Doctor, Angst, F/M, Missy has just regenerated into the Master, Post Regeneration Missy into Master (Dhawan), Post-Episode AU: s10e12 The Doctor Falls, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Whump, The Doctor is Grieving, The Master stumbles onto the Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerfullyCynical/pseuds/CheerfullyCynical
Summary: “You remind me of someone,” the Master admitted, after a moment of awkward silence, “All smiles and tired eyes – He was dreadful company for a while. Even worse in the end. Ended up being a liar.”Because the Doctor was too scared off getting close to you – of loving you fully and losing you once again. He’d been right to be scared, hadn’t he? Missy left her to die alone.The Doctor is drowning in her grief after everything that happened on Gallifrey. Somehow, an old friend stumbles upon her.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Jack Harkness, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan), Twelfth Doctor & Missy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	Forgiveness

The Doctor was getting away from it all.

Away from a literal prison, away from her past, away from her mistakes. No, not running. If anyone dared to question her on that, she had a rather detailed argument that involved the words “not denial” and “I’m fine” in it. The point was, she wasn’t running. Not this time.

She was… Grieving? Coping? Certainly not healing. She was staring at the abyss of her mind, the darkest parts of herself just inches away from escape, being held back only by the looks of pity from her fam. She imagined herself alone, away from prying eyes and her concerned TARDIS. She saw herself looking at where Gallifrey was – the parts of her planet that were still floating in space, that is, destined to be destroyed for all of time.

Then… There was Jack Harkness as casual touch on her shoulder, and the image of floating rocks was gone.

She missed the flirtatious time traveler, even if she felt even more guilt at how she had treated him in her past lives. Her words had been cruel yet, somehow, he still came back to save her.

_But she wasn’t thinking about any of that._

She had taken all of them to a little (big, really) party on Earth’s moon as both a thank you for rescuing her and time off – a bar (city) with semi-loud music and even better drinks. Granted, she wasn’t drinking, but it was fun to watch her humans have just a bit too much fun.

Like a person watches the telly, rather than experience it for themselves.

“Come on, Doctor,” Jack said, holding one shot of _something_ to her – it was currently smoking, “Just one? For me?”

“You’ll have to work a little harder than that,” She smiled, trying so hard for it to reach her eyes, “Should know by now that I’m tough work.”

“No kidding – worth it, of course.” He joked good naturally, winking, swaying to the beat of the music around them. _Worth it though_ another lifetime whispered to her. “I’m pretty sure ‘sober driver’ isn’t a thing for the TARDIS.”

She thought about it, “Me? All those levers? Who knows where will end up if I don’t have a clear head.”

The TARDIS could fly herself if she so desire. Still, the excuse sounded good to her.

“Shame,” Jack semi-sang to her, “I’m sure you would look absolutely radiant on the dance floor.”

She laughed, truly, never tired of Jack’s confidence, “You’re not so bad yourself, I suppose. Go on, then!” She urged, looking towards her group of humans, “I’m sure Graham would love to dance with you. Heard you gave him quite a nice hello last time.”

“Good kisser,” Jack commented wistfully, “Even surprised, the man had skill.” He paused, “I will get a dance out of you!”

She shook her head, but he was already gone, disappearing in the crowd of people, greeting them as he went. More than one person stopped him, and he melted into each contact like a drowning man to shore.

She envied that – touch had never been friend. The only person who she had only truly felt at peace with touching her was when it was the Master’s arms –

_Stop._

She rubbed at her eyes, taking a small sip of her non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiri, the cold on her tongue stopping some of the feelings associated with the thoughts of her old friend – _dead_ friend who she really, hoped… She hoped he was dead. She couldn’t – _wouldn’t_ love him again.

She didn’t have the hearts. Not anymore.

“Mind if I buy you a drink?”

Every part of her stopped - her vision blinked in and out, her feet froze against the bar stool, the breath from her lungs left her… _It could not be. And yet…_

The Doctor’s hand clench around her glass, a reflection of him _just_ visible through it. Her whole body tensed, tight like a coil, and shaking like a leaf. She turned to look at him, her body moving faster than her mind, and froze.

Purple – always the purple, always catching her eyes first. A plain, purple shirt, and pants that just barely fit him. Didn’t even have a beard yet – instead, a messy mop of black hair stood nearly straight up on top of his head, some of it poking down into his eyes.

He looked like he had just returned from battle.

“What?” She breathed.

“A drink,” The Master said again, a smirk (small and barely anything but infinitely better than that hatred from before _)_ adorned his face, “Bit presumptuous of me. Bit of a new, well, me.”

 _No. No-No-No._ That wasn’t fair. There could not be a way that he was standing there, just post regeneration, offering to buy her a drink. _Her –_ of the hundreds here. _Her_ – as the only Time Lord left in the universe… His only friend - _enemy_ left in the universe.

“That’s funny,” She said, still tense – still ready for the other shoe to drop, “Trying to trick me?”

O had been so beautiful – perfect eyes, the best smile, the peaceful optimism… A perfect ploy to lure her in. 

The Master stilled for a moment, eyes dark. The Doctor was sure that he would give up the charade. She could almost feel his hand around her throat, smiling with his teeth as he congratulated her on not being so hopeful.

“Typical.” He said, nearly spitting the word, “The universe likes to play games with me, you see. Never did like to leave me in peace. It’s no surprise it felt the need to place me in the path of someone like you.”

Is that how he saw the world? Something to avoid at all costs – something that _tried_ to make his life harder?

“Whatever it is you want,” She said, not caring – trying so hard to not care about him, “I want nothing to do with it.”

“I promise you, my dear,” The Master said, and the Doctor hated that her hearts skipped a beat at the endearment, “Anything I have ever wanted has never worked out – not once.”

 _Why was he telling her this._ Why was he here, right now, minutes after his regeneration into Missy. How had Missy died? How had Missy found a TARDIS? Why did that TARDIS take him _here._ None of it made sense.

All of it was exhausting.

He was eyeing the bar seat. Without thinking, the Doctor hopped off of it, blushing at her stupid kindness – or sympathy. Regeneration hurt, every bone in your body new, and it must be hell simply standing there on new knees.

He did not say thank you.

“Sorry, for the poor introduction, I mean.” She said, “Must have mistaken you for someone else. Bad memory, me. Friends complain about it all the time.”

Her old companions complained about her forgetting them all the time.

The Master hummed, uninterested, casually stealing her drink. Who knew he was so impolite? “If I had the energy, I could make that apologize mean something.”

He had swung her drink down like his very life depended on it. She could only watch in alarmed amusement as it disappeared down his throat. Maybe he thought it actually contained alcohol.

“Threatening me seems kind of rude,” She said, trying to get her bearings, “considering you just finished my drink.”

“Dare you to make me say sorry.” He sneered, eyes on her, taunting her. He wanted a fight just as much as she did, even if he had no idea what he was getting into. He, as always, thrived on chaos.

She, however, had enough fury for the both of them.

If the Master could play O, she reasoned, she could too. A human wouldn’t know that the Master literally meant it as a threat, and she _really_ didn’t want to mess up a fixed point of time – if the Master was the one to destroy Gallifrey, he still needed to do so. A part of her, the weaker part, screamed for blood.

Ironic, that they would take out their hurts for each other for two different occasions.

“No worries,” The Doctor said, smiling, trying to mean it, “Guess you needed it more than me.”

He seemed surprised. At least his hand had moved away from where she _knew_ was his TCE. He studied her for a moment, and the Doctor could help but squirm. It was so quiet in this bar, and she wish she had chosen a club just for the excuse to drag him away from this crowd.

She waved down the bartender with a kind smile but got an unimpressed frown when she ordered two waters. Still, the Master was happy enough to take one of them, giving her a brief, sarcastic salute with it in thanks.

“You remind me of someone,” He admitted, after a moment of awkward silence, “All smiles and tired eyes – He was dreadful company for a while. Even worse in the end. Ended up being a liar.”

_Because the Doctor was too scared off getting close to you – of loving you fully and losing you once again. He’d been right to be scared, hadn’t he? Missy left her to die alone._

Apparently, according him, it was the Doctor that left the Master.

“Calling me dreadful company already,” She said, trying to be teasing, even as memories and mistakes plagued her, “First you steal my drink, and now _I’m_ dreadful company?”

“Perhaps not dreadful,” He agreed, “Don’t suppose you’ll lecture me about how wonderful this world is?”

“Could try not to,” The Doctor said, though she knew that even a human version of her would be hopeful, “Hasn’t been so great for me – not at the moment.”

He really, really had no idea. His hateful eyes haunted him even as she was staring at him.

The Master nodded, looking solemn, “Not at the moment,” He echoed, “Seems to be every moment for me.”

“Pessimism doesn’t suit you,” She said, because she can like this, “Much too nice of a face.”

_That slipped out. Where had that even come from?_

He didn’t even acknowledge the compliment. She supposed Missy was right to say that the Doctor was the only one for them.

A very familiar glow of gold slivered between the tips of fingers. Her suspicious of a very recent regeneration were now confirmed. Why did that hurt more. No, she knew why. The very last remnants of Missy, of the time she was hopeful to have her friend back, were being erased right before her eyes.

“My friend abandoned me too,” The Doctor said, “Well, thought she was my friend, but turns out she never was.”

The Master seemed uninterested, “Friends do that.”

“I forgave her,” The Doctor said, the words like ash on her tongue. “She was stubborn, and stupid, and rather brilliant… And hurt me more times than I can remember. But… But I forgave her.”

She missed Missy. Missy was still forgivable.

“Forgiveness isn’t something I give so readily,” The Master replied, “But there is one person in the universe I find myself forgiving…”

Out of the corner of the Doctor’s eye, she saw Jack and her fam staring at her.

“You should go home.” She told him, but couldn’t offer up a reason why she thought that.

“Yes,” The Master said, hand going to his side, hiding it from view, “If I weren’t feeling so peckish, I would have killed you for suggesting something to me.”

She laughed, flakily and stupid, again trying to play her role as an unsuspecting human, “You’re a bit strange.”

“My dear,” He said, looking at her with those big eyes, filled with madness, “strange is the least of your concerns.”

He got up then, stumbling, but the Doctor didn’t reach out to him. Instead, she watched as he made his way back to whatever stolen ship he had, whether it be a TARDIS is a from that damned ship, and collapsed on the bar seat, waiting for her fam to come.

“Was that…?” Graham asked her, “I mean, that’s impossible.”

“He was _glowing,_ ” Ryan, _“_ like you were when-”

“Are you alright?” Yaz continued, before she could answer Graham, “You look…”

“I’m fine.” The Doctor said, far from it, “He’s… He’s from before you met him in the Outback.”

“Messing with your own timeline, Doctor,” Jack said, “Bit crazy, even for you.”

Not crazy, she thought.

Just forgiving.

**Author's Note:**

> No idea where this came from. I guess I was just really missing Missy.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! 
> 
> If anyone wants to talk about Doctor Who, or this fic, or how they're doing in general, I'm over on tumblr! cheerfullyCynicalFandom.tumblr.com 
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL! Stay safe and healthy!


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